Inspire Empire Articles

"Marla was very relatable and spoke from experience and the heart. The session was very engaging, insightful and enjoyable. It helped to remind me of how important it is to nurture my own identity and in turn positively nurture my kids. "

Participant, Parent Literacy Day Conference

Edmonton, Canada

 

Desperate Housewife

by MONICA JEVNE

4/26/2012

It's what many women wish for, dream about....being able to stay home with their kids when they are little. Then why did I feel so depressed? Of course there were good moments...snapshots of happiness and laughter that you see in our home movies. But you don't film the bad stuff - the temper tantrums, the exhaustion, the frustration when things don't go quite right. And there was no stop or pause button.

Like a good mom I enrolled my children in activities like gymnastics, skating, story time....you name it. But I felt like I never accomplished anything. If I took the kids to the library, the house work suffered. If I plunked them in front of the TV so I could clean house I felt guilty about them watching too much television. When I started to work part-time, I was equally torn - if I was at work I felt like I should be home with them, like I was missing out. If I was at home I felt like I should be working more, contributing to the household income. Often, no matter what I did I felt like I should be doing something else. Day after day, week after week, I felt discontent.

When the kids went off to school, I continued to focus on their activities, overscheduling and driving them around. When I volunteered which I loved to do, another area of my life suffered. It was all about the kids. With my children outfitted in brand name clothing, I usually had my hair pulled back in a ponytail, and was dressed in sweat pants and grubby t-shirts.

It wasn't their fault; I felt like this is what I was supposed to be doing. I was exhausted trying to be the supermom. Trying to please everyone. My kids were seeing me as a stressed out mom - was that who I wanted to be? No! I wanted them to see me as a strong, happy, content woman. A person they would want to be.

I tried to do things for myself. If I worked out at the gym I felt bad that they were left crying in the babysitting area. If I left to go out with friends they cried. More guilt. In fits and starts I tried to do things for me but it never lasted. It seemed like more and more of my friends felt the same way. Many of us resorted to medication. Like some magic pill would make it all better. I was stuck in a rut.

That's why when Marla told me the subject of her book I could totally relate. When I read the first chapter I said It's like you wrote this book just for me!! I needed to hear that it was okay to put myself first - to make myself a priority without all the guilt. It allowed me to realize that it's ok - no, it was necessary - to do things to help me keep sane, to help me feel content and happy again, to achieve the life I wanted. Without the guilt. I needed to get back to the girl I used to know and that everyone in my life, especially me, would benefit as a result.

That's why this book is so important. It will help you get back to the girl you used to know. It will take work and it doesn't happen over night. Read the book, do the exercises and know that making yourself a priority is important for you and your family.

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